Candy Froggie's Lair

Two days ago, I thought a lot about my grand-mother who lives in Lyon (south France). Very often in the day, I thought about her death. I dunno why.. I have not seen her since about (I dont even remember) 8, 10 years.
I never took time to go and visit her. Then I thought the fact I cannot travel during my pregnancy sounded like another excuse (though real one) to postpone our visit.
I finally thought the situation was kinda absurd, for years I did not make the lil effort to visit her and now I'm preggy I just cannot.

And yesterday my dad called me to tell me "Mamie" had just died :-((((((((
Ok she was 95 and not feeling so well, but it still feels like a blow you receive in the middle of the heart.
You can't tell I was very close to her, but we wrote to each other very regularly and called each other pretty often. She was the "typical" grand-mother, long wite hair always brushed on top of her head, lil voice like one of a mouse, playing scrabble everyday after lunch (s), cooking like a chef (specially jams), etc. I wish Martin had known her:)

I coud not stop contractions yesterday after I learnt about it, even staying on my bed with medication.

Now I have only one grand-mother left (to which I am very very close), I call her "bonne-maman" and I hope she'll be around us for years and years again.
That scares me to see this generation disappearing, it's like part of your childhood going away with your grand-parents (souvenirs are not just the same)... and somehow you become aware next step will be your own parents.

booo:(

Anyway, I cannot even visit her a last time, which would have felt terribly ironic to me anyway. But she would have deserved at least that last visit.

Martin and I will try to leave for Bretagne on Tuesday (if I can travel "horizontally"...), I should not travel at all, but I need to breathe fresh air and to leave the walls of da flat for a few days:)