Wednesday, July 29, 2009


...I want to paint, read, train, cuddle, renovate, play, heal, drink and dance, I find days way too short! (holidays, huh, can be hard :P)

We've had a first really sunny day in 3 weeks today. Got ugly suntan while working outside! But working outside in the sun, surrounded with the trees, birds and river feel pretty good.

Tomorrow.. Martin will work (we take turns... talk about holidays together...) and I plan to get the naps of my dream!:P
I'll enjoy my day off, oh yeah!

Martin will go back to work to Paris next Sunday (boooo) and I'll stay here another week with the kids. With Loup's broken leg, Bretonie is Heaven, Paris is Hell! That's great we can have another week around here.

Painting & painting

This year in the hobbit house, my main jobs are painting and masonry.

I've come to the conclusion that if I was back at school, all fresh and capable, I would have chosen one of these following jobs as a dream job: 1) sport trainer(making people sweat, beg for me to stop, lol, and helping them to push their own limits, I would have loved that), 2) mason ( building stuff is exciting, the physical work really suits me!). Why do they only ask you if you want to be a doctor, teacher or lawyer when you're at school, hm? If I had known...

Anyway, I have finished painting the ceilings, had to do it 2 times to get a fine colour (yawn). Supa boring, but done! :)

At the same time, when I get a minute, I work on this new project below.. hope it will be as I have it in mind!

Oh and while we're in the topic, Loup made a painting the other day.. when we asked what it was, he said: I have painted *a secret*! :-)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Chocolate mama

I keep talking about Loup, but I haven't forgotten my shrimpette... it's just that, she's so busy and loup so much stuck to me ;-)

Loup has a lot of imagination, much more than I, or Lola. He creates his own worlds, imaginary friends, etc I love it.

Even his subconscious is pretty creative.

He woke up this morning, told me he just had a nightmare: he dreamt I was made of chocolate and that I totally melted because of the sun!

OMG, not fun!
I found this one pretty scary! :P


I'm sorry I did not give news about Loup earlier. It's just that, yeah well, I shared everything on facebook, right, but could not find the time to sit down to write a post here!

Loup is getting better!

After a really, hm, stressful week with several visits ar the hospital and lots of blood tests, scans, etc.. Loup finally recovered. It was about time. The conclusion from the doctors: we see that he has nothing, but that does not mean anything, we could make new tests.

Nenene, we've had enough, no more tests!

Loup has got a new cast (the doctors wanted to check everything was fine under it) which is good because his leg has got much thinner, so a new one seems much better:)

Next visit to the hopsital, in 3 weeks to get rid (I hope!) of the cast. That will give me 2 weeks, before school starts again, to help Loup to try to walk again.

Crazy holidays.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Diagnosis: sky? heavy, heart? pretty light

Fucking Bretonie ( I love it but), when it rains, it never stop! 5 days now, just too much!

I said I have a pretty light heart today because we're back from hospital and Loup's broken tibia starts to fix itself a bit. The situation is not worse and that's kewl.

We've been to the hospital emergency early in the morning... Loup's got fever since 10 days now (not in a regular way), we've been to the doc several times and he finally sent us to the hospital because he worried there could be a blood infection due to the broken tibia.

Oh yeah

Loup has got a new cast, blood tests, lungs & legs scan etc.. the full menu!

He's back now, has watched Athur & the minimoys, Totoro & might go on with la guerre des boutons -again!-

The hospital just called, asking me to stop antibiotics, to take Loup temperature every 3 hours and to take him back there tomorrow morning.
Well, I can say the hospital of Saint-Malo works pretty well and won't let you go without knowing you're really ok. Good point!


I'm tired, I don't sleep well since 3 weeks, sleeping near Loup, with him moving a lot, having nightmares and high fever in the night.
I surrender: I can jump on the table and scream I'm exhausted. Yeah yeah, that happens to me too! ;-)

But I know it's gonna get better.

I expected the wheel to turn from supa karma to shitty one. I'm in the shitty one, soon it will change again! That's a very kewl perspective!

A last trip to the hospital tomorrow and I swear I'll make the best of my holidays!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


after some sleepless nights ;-), the blog's working again! Pheww!
I've changed of web hoster and that was less simple than expected.

Loup has got fever back since a couple of days, so I guess is angina is not gone (sigh)
The weather has been very bretonish (shitty in a wet way) but hey, the sun's back today, I mean right now :P

I've just worked for a local order yesterday night (plain watercolour painting of boats) and I managed to finish it, that's kewl.

I have a *political* project (well in it some kind of political view will be expressed) in mind right now, won't use painting though, more collage. It's exciting, I'm gathering ideas right now, hope I can make something of the boiling ideas I get :)

But before taking care of that, I finish my cup of tea and rush to the hobbit house for masonry work, always hard to start with masonry but satisfying at the end!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Under my skin

It's been a pretty good day... got sun, thunder, Pink Floyd's pigs on the wing, a BBQ and a few push-ups :)

Got our new goodies too!!! ... skins for our eeePC! We just couldn't resist such a lovely toy!

Here's mine:

and Martin's

That rocks, huh! :D

Tomorrow, I'll start working in the hobbit house, I'll take that as a break from being a nurse ;-)
Will share pics about the hard works!... and oh, about holiday pics... they're on Facebook, I'm too lazy to put them here too!

night night my friends :P

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Little house on the (bretonish) prairie

Sure you recognize Charles, Caroline and Laura! :D


Well, here in Bretonie... the biggest temptation is getting lazy... forgetting I have a house to renovate, sport to do, work to prepare & new wine to taste ;-)

The family house is so comfortable, the garden so big, the landscape so delightful.
Well I'm not resisting much temptation I reckon.

except this one..

after the party the other day, I found this cig in the bathroom. 8 years I have stopped, still fighting with success. I've asked that nobody touch the cig for a few days, just to test meself. lol. Very tempting.

What resisting bring me? Not any kind of happiness, just useful strength that I use in some approriate way I guess. Besides, resisting something that makes me that dependent is pretty satisfying :)

About lil wolf

He's doing well, I mean he does not suffer anymore at all, I think.
He's very patient, reasonable, that's crazy... he's so active and pushing the limits usually!

I spend most of my nights and days not far from him, he's very demanding of course... I wanna make his life as easy as possible, naturally.

This morning though... we went for new x-rays... and well, they did not show any improvement :(
The bones of the tibia are even a bit more separated. The doc here just asked if we were to see a surgeon just after the rendez-vous. I shrugged, said no, next appointment is back to Paris end of August.
He said it was still ok, the bones are still aligned and that's the most important. We'll make other x-rays with him in 2 weeks.

He repeated that Loup must not move at all his leg. Gawd I don't know what to do, I'm very careful about that and so is Loup. We can't do more.

I worry. I don't want to hear people telling "and what if you saw other doctors?", "why won't you ask for a new cast?", "have they made the right diagnostic?", "wouldn't an operation be more appropriate?"
No, that does not help me, just the opposite.

So far I've been in 2 places, with different doctors, telling me the bones of kids heal very well and that any operation is avoided as much as possible.

But what can I tell, what do I know really?

I worry, wondering how bad it's gonna be after 7 weeks of cast, patience, pain and stress.

Anyway, can't do much more right now. What a bloody bad kind of stress, there are no ways I can make it positive or forget it. booo

But :) ... Loup's cast is getting nice colours ... been signed by many people now, including a good friend of us, English rugby player (the real enemy yeah ;-) who has broken his foot a few weeks ago... and felt very concerned :)

Just a quickie

to prove I'm sober enough at this time of the night to blog a lil something :D

I had planned much more for my blog today but.. just lacked the time. I'll do better tomorrow, once we've finished with the visit to the hospital (which stresses me).

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Like mom, like son (or vice versa!)

Dunno how it happened, at sport I think, during a push-ups session.
I can't use my wrist since I've arrived in Bretonie. It's a bit blue and painful. Nothing broken, I can still use my hand easily (phewww!)

Just a perfect way to start with the holidays, huh :P

Yeeheeeeeee (MJ's scream, my hand is possessed, so am I!)

Not very practical to take care of Loup. But I'm not alone here


It hurts a bit, I'm tired from early driving, but Bretonie feels damn good! Cheers!

Friday, July 10, 2009

before the end of the night

...we'll be driving for wet Bretonie!

I hope the trip will be ok for Loup...
holidays (3 weeks!) won't taste the same with Loup's life being so limited to his wheelchair at the moment...
Not sure we can work as much as we wanted in the hobbit house... life's just a bit different at the moment.

But then, we'll be out of Paris, I won't have to carry Loup and his chair up and down... that is so good!

We've already rendez-vous next week in some hospital there, for new scans... I worry they give bad news like bones not joining each other... or whatever.

I'll give news anyway! I have my own mini PC now, which gets as much memory as my ol' one, with a mini mouse too! (and they say only men enjoy gadgets!!)

My plans during the holidays? Working (lol) on tattoo designs, having naps on the grass, finishing my fantastic book and starting another exciting one, doing regular workout because I need my fix, dancing on bagpipe & wearing my cute bikini as much as I can parce que je le vaux bien, merde! :P

Et voilà :)

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

I want to keep them all for meself :P

Dorian gave me last month one of his biz cards. Beautiful! On the front side there's a photo of one of his food creations. The quality was so good!

I thought it would be perfect for my new biz cards too.
So as he advised me, I went to order them there

.. and I received them a couple of days ago and they are so perfect! The colours, the quality.. wawww!

I've also been working night and days, or so (since I don't have any more nights!), on my paintings catalogue. I hope I can get it before I leave Paris for hols!

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

It's a fact

..Charlie's Angels have got a much more interesting influence in my life than Michael ever did!

I was watching him performing on tv... looking for the answers to why he was so popular.
I put aside all the mystery around him... I think his music must have been the main part (never enjoyed it but) because for the rest... a dress code that was absolutely terrible, a *touch my cock*, robot like kind of choreography that seemed so much in opposition with his fragile look & voice. Strange. Weird. What was the message hidden behind his moon walk, hm? (boiling mind)

Nothing attractive in him to me. And the fact he's dead cannot change anything to that. Death seem to be kinda kewl for the popularity rating. But it's a bit extreme!

Anyway, (coughing), I could faint for a few (very alive) singers/musicians so I understand the fever!

But who cares at the end, apart from me, that is ;-)
Just wanted to speak of something else than my lil one :P

A new blog is born!

...a blog full of good vibes and laughs!

I wish Jerôme's Blog much success (and remember, Jérôme, see ya next year to run after the cheese! deal? deal! :P)

Can someone teach me..

.. how to stand the pain of one's baby... because I find it very hard. Almost humanly impossible.
I'm lucky Loup has *just* broken a leg, how do people do with relatives at hospital, with serious illness, etc?

One of his painful screams is enough to make me feel like 6 feet under. I feel so helpless.
He's fallen asleep 10 minutes ago, and already starts to cry, feeling the pain again. God, too bad you don't exist, I would have blamed you.

We've been to hospital for scan control.
The 2 parts of the tibia have moved a bit, not vertically really to stick together, rather a bit horizontally. Damn.

The doc there said he'll keep his cast another week (7 weeks in total), we'll take it off (crossing fingers and everything) on the 17th of August. Blessed day.
But it might happen that he needs another cast after...........!

Ha well, that's it for the news.

Monday, July 06, 2009

summerish candyland

At the moment, I'm 90% mama, 10% sarah connor.

I don't have time for anything, all my energy and attention are focused on who you know :)

The only thing I can still do is sport in the evening, when Martin's back from work.
That requires a lot of motivation, physical pain (yeah really), but it brings me what I need.
In some other life, I'll be professional at sports. Too bad I realise it now only, I'm just too old to start with all of it. No regrets, 20 years ago, I was the antithesis of sport! :P

Anyway, I'm a mama and I'm a sportswoman, but that's far from being enough to me.

I feel a bit like when I had just given birth to Loup. Life focused on my lil one.
Oh I do it without forcing meself at all.

but (and it's midnight, and he's crying, asking for me), I can't help counting the days till it gets better for him (so for me too ;-)

Am I selfish?
maybe, that's important to be this way too sometimes. Just to preserve oneself :)

Ok, I run to my roaring lil one!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

A pirate leg, muscles, etc

A wheelchair, even for kids, is really heavy! A Loup with a cast too!
I wouldn't be able to do it several times a day, but it worked. And Loup loved it outside.

He's being very reasonable (which breaks my heart! lol... mamas!), not asking to go out of his chair, not asking for anything he can't do. He is so aware of his own condition!

And I start to feel more comfortable with everyday details (toilets, etc)... but it's still pretty difficult.

Days (and nights!) are really long, can't wait for life to be normal again.
On Tuesday we go back to the hospital for new scans. I'm impatient to know how his leg goes.
Then on Saturday, if everything is ok, we should leave for Bretonie... not with the excitement I got a few days ago, but it will be much better there. And there will be relatives there to help. I will have breaks! (and Loup too :P)

Oh, Loup got the visit from his teacher on Friday!
She came with her hands full of games from school so Loup can have some fun with his favorite games! She also brought the mascot "Arthur", a teddy bear, so Loup does not feel alone :)
So sweet!
Oh and all the kids, who worried a lot for Loup, made a drawings for him on the last day at school. Very nice!

Back in time

That was just a week ago... gotta mention it because we had such a good time at the Gay Pride!
The kids loved the "party" spirit of it, I loved the diversity of it, the positive vibes floating around.
Martin's moustache had muuuuuch success too :P

My babes might be young but not too young to understand difference. They naturally know it since they've started with school.
Life is not built according to some dusty narrow-minded Bible's plan!

Friday, July 03, 2009

Formula 1

Who needs a fast red car anyway??

After a couple of days running after a new form of grail (wheelchair for Loup), we found it!
From days on the bed he now can go in some other rooms (small choice, 3 rooms! lol)
...and it's nice.

I hope in a few days I can take him outside with it... but my problem is the 5 floors thingie... Loup is very heavy with his cast, I'm not sure I can carry him that much... hm, gotta try.

Oh my grandma yesterday advised me to use a bottle when Loup wants to pee, and why didn't I think of it?!!!
That is SO SO practical! Instead of carrying him in a most uncomfortable way 10 times to the toilets, he now just snap his fingers for his lil bottle. hehe

Grand-mothers should never leave us, they're so precious!

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Paris Carnet

I'm a bit stoned this morning, not from what I drank yesterday (just what was necessary to survive Parisian heat, you can imagine!), but from a bad night.

I did not stay long at all yesterday at the bar, but enough to make me want to come back soon again.
I also had enough time to share good laughs with the girls and & few other blog writers. Some talks were surreal! Blog writers are curious creatures, very interesting ones, motivated by very different sources of inspiration!

I haven't talked with all the people there, I was kinda really dead, preoccupied, and in a hurry.. and I can hardly remember who was who, lol. Gotta train and learn :)

Bu that was a nice liDle break, and a very enjoyable first time :)

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

News from my little battlefield

lol I do NOT exaggerate!

only 2 days since Loup got his cast and ... none of us are used to it.
We're stuck in the flat so far, cooked like lil piggies on fire, but it's ok, could be worse!

How did all that happen? Loup was running on the playground at school, another one ran in the other way and put one of his legs in front of Loup who fell and that's it.

The school called me like 5 minutes before the end of morning school time on Monday. Which is weird, I was to be there anyway 5 minutes later: I knew instantly something bad happened.
Arrived there with super upset school staff surrounding Loup.
Loup was lying down, no expression in the eyes, white and cold as a zombie.
The firemen arrived 10 minutes later and we left for the hospital were we spent almost the rest of the day.

See the scans? What a clear cut! ... must be so painful! (just looking at the pics makes me feel almost sick, a mama feeling I guess!)

We went back with an ambulance, I was not able to carry my lil one! (and so scared to hurt him)

The most difficult is feeling Loup's pain, his screams, I had never heard them before from him. Screams of sharp sudden pain, and that happens a lot in the night.
I wish I could take all his pain away, you know ...

I hardly sleep since Sunday, I just can't stand knowing my lil babe feels this way..

But then in a few days it should get better.
When the pain is too deep, I give him codeine and that works pretty well. I haven't given him any today, is it a good sign? :)

So Loup keeps his plaster/cast at least till mid august, we must go back to hospital for control scans several times.
His foot must not touch the ground, not be in contact with water either. No bath for 6 weeks...woo..
We expect a wheelchair before the end of the week otherwise I really can't take him anywhere

And then everyday life is slightly more complicated: he can't move at all so needs me all the time of course.
Going to the toilets is incredibly complicated (so far)
Changing his clothes
Trying to wash him

I have no idea how I'll do to close my flat door and open it with Loup in the arms (body on one, fragile leg on the other), etc... I know I'll adjust and get used, but... (sigh)

Once his cast is taken off, there will be no re-education of the leg (they don't do it for kids they said at the hospital) and Loup should limp (boiter) for about 3 months.

I'm down when it's the middle of the night and Loup is suffering otherwise I'm doing ok. Tonight I go for a beer with other blogwriters, that will be a fine tiny break :)